Friday, March 2, 2012

I need someone to torture!

I think I could fly to Europe and have a very posh two week stay on the money I spend re-washing laundry that I have let sit in the washing machine for two days every week because I'm too tired/lazy to fold the stuff that's occupying the dryer. I walk in from chauffeur duties, pass my laundry room, and don't even have to look for where the buttons are on the dryer. 20 minute touch-up button. Whap! Start button. Whap! And I head upstairs. I probably do that 17 times before I actually take the clothes out of the dryer!!!

Today I'm avoiding folding it because I'm bored. I shouldn't be. I should be baking my daughters birthday cake for her party this weekend. (I didn't, I got my nails done). I should be finishing the goody bags. (I didn't, I made homemade granola bars from My Baking Addictions blog because I wanted to, because they looked yummy, and me and the little kid were hungry. PS They were good! So good the big kid came home and devoured what was left before I could take a picture!) Don't judge. I'm procrastinating. This job at home gets boring sometimes! Shhh, don't tell or they'll find more boring things for me to do and I'm already trying to quit this job! (I'm still trying to figure out how I got hired for it!)

Truth be told, I'm in the mood for someone to pick on and my husband has the nerve to not be here. He went away with the boys to drink and watch baseball for spring training in Florida. I think that's code for "We're sick of our wives and kids and need to pretend to be single studs for 4 days with an endless supply of beer"! The funny thing is my husband is not that guy. I think he'll try to be that guy but he's not going to survive it very well. Don't mistake what I'm saying: I'm POSITIVE he is sick of his wife and kids... we're a handful, hello?! But 4 days of drinking? Oh, it's not going to be pretty. The man can't hang! He has one rough night with a six pack and he doesn't leave his pajamas or the bed the entire next day. Sometimes, it takes two days for him to come around.

And he is the whitest white boy on the planet! That skin + Florida + more than 3 minutes outside = a phone call to a hospital.

So how is he going to survive these 4 days of hanging with the guys in the sun drinking? I will be shocked and amazed to see him come home in one piece on Sunday night and go to work on time on Monday! Not. Going. To. Happen.

What WILL Monday morning look like?...

And you know what he's going to bring home? LAUNDRY, dammit!

(I miss the pain in the ass!)

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