Monday, February 27, 2012

The Mob has a hit out on me!

Why is it that everyone on the planet gets a day off when they are sick... except a Mom? I want to crawl back into bed because I look like this today:
But they wont let me. They, aka the Mob, the ones who have a hit out on me and are taking me down! They need to be taken to school. They need lunch and snacks. They need me to yell through screeching rattling hoarse vocal chords that their pajamas have to be picked up off the floor for the 10,793rd time. They need to be picked up from school. They need to be reminded to do homework. They need me to yell through now even more hoarse vocal chords that their shoes/backpack/books/snacks don't belong on the floor (yup, have said THAT in the thousands of times also!) They need to be fed... again! (Didn't I just do that yesterday?) They need to be told to take showers. And as I slip and fall and crack my skull open, they need to be yelled at to "DRY YOUR BODY" instead of dripping a trail of water through the house... except now the voice is so hoarse and scratchy they can't hear what I'm saying through the hacking of mucous and coughing up a lung. (And how can they look at you with innocent eyes when they're standing in a puddle in the living room watching TV naked?) They need to be told to put pajamas on and brush their hair and teeth. They need to suck that last bit of life out of me, exhaust me to the point that I crawl, no drag my way to the couch only to have my husband come home and say "It must be nice to have the day off."

There's no energy to bitch slap him and he senses that so he follows that with "You look like crap. Why don't you go to bed???"

Why don't I go to bed............. he wonders why I plot his demise!

Tomorrow... I'll plot his demise tomorrow, but right now I'm going back on the couch and waiting for death!

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